Possibly our biggest problem

Recently it seems like clouds have gone over your days. Everything is going wrong. You are not motivated, not productive at work, fighting with people around or maybe just wondering if you’re doing what you need to be.

Not sure what the problem is? What if things are worse, maybe you are broke or ill. Looking back at my personal troubles I can honestly say that there has always been one single problem in every situation – my thoughts.

A man is what he thinks about all day long.
– Ralph Emerson

If we think happy thoughts, we will be happy; if we think miserable thoughts we will be miserable; if we think fear thoughts we will be fearful and if we think ill thoughts we would probably even get ill.

This doesn’t mean that one should be casual about problems and difficult situations faced every day. But we should focus on the perspective, the outlook on things. In the same way as our eyes reflect light and render objects around us in different colours – our perspective and our thoughts can empower us or put us down. I.e., instead of focusing on the thing, we should look at what we are observing it through. There are situations that you simply cannot change, and no matter how much you stress, agonise or think them over – they will never change. But almost in an instant if you accept that it is what it is and focus on what is ahead you can become a tool for positive change.

Physical

So how do your thoughts link with the physical world? It seems a very abstract concept to consider, but yet there are many examples of how that works. For instance, Dr. J. A. Hatfield did a study after which he wrote “The psychology of power“. He asked three men to measure their strength by gripping a dynamometer (a tool that measures your hand’s grip strength) as hard as they can. Hatfield took the measurement in three different conditions. When he measured the men’s strength when they were awake their average was about 110 pounds. Later he hypnotised the men and told them that they were very weak – their average gripping power was 29 pounds. Then Dr. Hatfield put the men under hypnosis again and this time told them that they were very strong – the men’s average gripping power increased to 149 pounds. That was almost a 50% raise. The only difference between the 3 measurements was the men’s mental attitude.

Our life is what our thoughts make it.
– Emperor Marcus Aurelius

This is why apart from rigorous training, olympic athletes go through continuous mental training. They create little rituals and processes that help them channel their thoughts to a place where they see every single movement they need to do and how to perform it flawlessly. This is repeated over and over again until it becomes second nature so that at the competition these athletes don’t see the crowd, they don’t hear any noise. The only thing in their mind are the same thoughts that go over at every training. (You can read more on how Michael Phelps uses this method to win competitions)

So how can you use that knowledge in your life? By changing your thoughts. The problem is that anyone that has every tried to change their thoughts or even follow them knows that it is almost impossible (I’ve tried). You become more and more focused on the fact you can’t change your thoughts and that brings more of those – it’s a vicious cycle. But you can change your thoughts depending on what you do, what you read and the people that you surround yourself with. This is because we are like sponges. If you don’t believe me, spend one day watching a series and you will realise how you will start talking like the main characters and use the same humour.

To change your thoughts, change how you do things, create habits that help you see the positive side. If you are mad at someone, before you discard them as the worst in the world, put yourself in their shoes, consider how they grew up and then you will realise that you would probably act in the same way as they did. By controlling your thoughts in such ways you can improve your own happiness, health and ultimately who you are.

If I knew what you think, I would know what you are.
– Dale Carnegie

Summary

Our thoughts are our biggest problem, they influence our actions and how we respond to negative or positive situations. We can control very little in life, but we can control our thoughts. How? By controlling our actions which then move our thoughts in the direction of the actions. Another way is with the things we read, watch and the people we talked to, or the places we visit. All they shape the world in our heads that then nurtures one kind of thought or another. You don’t need to carry the burden of controlling all that, but to simply be aware of it.

By changing our thoughts we can improve our happiness, satisfaction, health and relationships with others.