I’ve been thinking about challenges and how every time i don’t want to do something but i know i should, it’s like i am standing in front of a new mountain. Every single time. It doesn’t matter if i’ve gone up it multiple times or never – it’s always the same difficulty.
Shall i go to sleep now, so that i can be refreshed tomorrow and productive, or shall i watch the rest of this series? Shall i get up and get out of the house or should i stay and procrastinate in front of the monitor for the rest of the day? i just brushed my teeth, but i really want a snack!
None of these things are particularly hard, if it was all about intellectually understanding the impacts of a decision life would be a breeze. But no, knowing the outcomes is not the hardest part and yet we spend a lot of time and money on other people teaching us how to do things, because we are unsure of the outcome. And then, once we know it, we completely ignore it and still do whatever we have on our minds.
Yes, I do realise the level of cheesiness this has. But the biggest challenge has always been me (and it will remain that way). The challenge is not to find out how something will turn out, or to read, get healthy, eat well, rest, improve. These follow but they are not the challenges themselves.
The challenge is when I am afraid that I will fail, to still try, not for the sake of trying but so that I don’t leave myself in the state of fear. Realising that failing is ok helps, but still need to get up and try something. Again, not for the end result of what this might bring externally, but internally.
Why am I rambling about this? It’s just a reminder to put the focus on the thing that has the greatest impact. To remind myself that it’s not important to just keep pushing for the sake of it, but that the most important time to push is when you feel that you are facing yourself.